The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.