That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
