i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My bed smells like the plague
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize