Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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