when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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