people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
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He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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