Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
