I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
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Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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