too bad you live with your parents still
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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