It's like God shit irony all over that family
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
