this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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