Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
