Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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