Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?