Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window

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  (501): Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window http://tfl.nu/m081
  Replies (12) Good night (987) Bad night (2840)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm in love with you.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  huh?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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  (860): I'm in love with you. (1-860): huh? (860): Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it. http://tfl.nu/in9v
  Replies (14) Good night (3176) Bad night (747)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

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  (478): I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell http://tfl.nu/mqh8
  Replies (29) Good night (6338) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

  (904): View more from Florida

  not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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  (850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night? (904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"? (850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants. http://tfl.nu/wk6x
  Replies (33) Good night (21637) Bad night (2156)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.

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  (843): Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought. http://tfl.nu/bahq
  Replies (14) Good night (756) Bad night (4460)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook

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  (614): I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook http://tfl.nu/v6tz
  Replies (12) Good night (614) Bad night (3904)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care

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  (503): just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care http://tfl.nu/jaq9
  Replies (7) Good night (2475) Bad night (765)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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  (206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv
  Replies (22) Good night (1065) Bad night (3677)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy

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  (774): I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy http://tfl.nu/fre1
  Replies (7) Good night (2505) Bad night (1119)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees

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  (208): dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees http://tfl.nu/cqup
  Replies (7) Good night (807) Bad night (1477)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?

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  (408): Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens? http://tfl.nu/6bgt
  Replies (5) Good night (1312) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

  (650): View more from California

  I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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  (801): You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address? (650): I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days. http://tfl.nu/fel9
  Replies (3) Good night (982) Bad night (345)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."

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  (610): You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would." http://tfl.nu/q6wg
  Replies (0) Good night (717) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.

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  (563): No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever. http://tfl.nu/wpdr
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls

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  (+44): My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls http://tfl.nu/6im1
  Replies (3) Good night (292) Bad night (503)

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