If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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