eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.