its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.