I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?