for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm really busy with my period
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