Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
