This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize