Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
