I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
