We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
