we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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