My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
one might say we're banned from that church
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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