Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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