Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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