She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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