Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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