so explain again why im purple
no
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
