Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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