Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
