Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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