we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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