He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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