Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
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he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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