So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
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Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize