These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
