I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
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