Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
