dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
