I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
