If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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