We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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