Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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