who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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