Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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