whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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