One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize