Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
