The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
