dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
