I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
