Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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