just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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