WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
