Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
A+ Viking dick
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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