Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
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I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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