I think i peed on brittanys purse
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
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I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
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Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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