I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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